We go through these same 'right or wrong' decisions hundreds of times a day, most of it occuring subconciously. There are those that we don't even think about, such as allowing pedestrians to cross as you drive by an intersection. But we inevitably face decisions requiring sleepless nights since it may make the difference between continuing to struggle or experiencing some Earthly pleasure (e.g. money, sex, chocolates, etc).
Call me naive, but I believe humans are born to do the right thing, with the exception of a few genetic anomalies. One may arrive at the same conclusion by simply having a conversation with young children who have not been corrupted by adult misbehavior. An elder relative of ours offerred an advice to my wife and I by suggesting that we try to have more than one child. She said that you'll never know if one of them turns bad! I listened to this worldly advise, but deep down, I was listening to yet another adult who had not lived up to her responsibility for raising responsible children.
There are lots of books about HOW to do the right thing and live a life of integrity (Steven Covey) or ethics in business (Noel Tichy). But I think that most of us struggle with WHY make the right and oftentimes difficult decisions to:
- pay the right amount of taxes
- be truthful to your family even if no one will know
- be honest about a product's shortcommings even if competitors lie about theirs
In my search for the answer to WHY people aim for integrity in public (e.g. work) and private (e.g. family) life, I've come across some postings on the web by Margaret Thorsborne, who is the Managing Director of Transformative Justice in Queensland Australia. In her book, The Seven Heavenly Virtues of Leadership, she referred to John Braithwaite, an eminent Australian criminologist, who attempted to answer the question: Why it is that most kids (and adults) do the right thing most of the time?
- socialisation about ethics, morals and values, usually a product of upbringing, religion, school
- conscience; it feels right; knowing the difference between right and wrong
- beliefs about 'do unto others'
- it's easier to do the right thing than the wrong; there are rewards for doing the right thing
- fear of consequences: loss of liberty, income and fines
- fear of disappointing significant others or being excluded
- Braithwaite proposes a sociological view of these influences and has concluded that shame plays a significant role in the development of that mechanism which we call conscience---our sense of right and wrong.
Thorsborne went on to include other studies proposing biological mechanisms (such as shame, fear, anger, excitement) that governs our behaviour and motivation. She concludes with a description of the life of integrity as a journey:
From a sociological and biological perspective, it seems that the getting of integrity is determined by the kinds of influences we have been exposed to over time. But I think it's also fair to say that each of us is a 'work in progress'. The shaping of a person's qualities and character is surely a lifetime job, rather than the result of some static genetic trait like blue eyes or height. Of course, there are those who claim 'well, that's just the way I am', implying that change is not possible. I believe this is a cop-out, and an excuse for not doing the hard work needed to do things differently.Going back to the issue about honesty in competitive sales situation, my belief is as follows:
So, for me, integrity is rather more of a journey than a destination. I don't think I'm there yet. I'm not old enough for a start. I'm still learning.
As the web evolves to include information about buyer and seller reputations, I see the world of selling achieve a higher level of equilibrium where buyers will get exactly as much value as what sellers have communicated to them. On the other hand, reputations of sellers will be determined by customer experiences which directly impacts buyers' future success. Our current imperfect world allows people to hide dishonest actions, but the Internet and the etailers reputation systems, blogs, Google Earth, and other forms of communication, will eventually render everyone -- naked. You might as well start your road to integrity and nakedness...today.